I've been so unmotivated lately.

Been at home, lazing the day away, occasionally flipping through my excuse of studying.

What i've realized these days, is that for me to attain something, I must sacrifice another.

I guess what I gave up this time was wasted, since I didn't manage to attain my goal at the end of the day.

Scattered thoughts.

XOXOX

While I feel somewhat sad, I know i'm just over thinking. So I'm not going to say anything else, and let the story unfold. I treasure you too much to let you slide.

I think people should start practicing what they preach, and not just cause it makes them seem virtuous.

Character of a person

People who are good dont keep telling and proclaiming they are good. Sure, actions will tell, but I think if you do something with the purpose, however small, of wanting to know how 'good' or 'charitable' you are, then the purpose is defeated.

For me, at least, it is much more meaningful to do something good and not announce it to the world. Announcing it to the world basically means you want attention and praise for your good deed.

Ever so often, I will come across people like this. People who kepp telling others that they are kind and warm and all lovely on the inside. I trust them, of course, and yes, it shows. But I will then question their motive. Sure, it could mainly be for the reason that they feel it is the good thing to do, but is it to make themselves feel good on the inside or is it really a selfless act?

I dont like people who say one thing and do the other. People who say they are observant and sensitive but whose actions show otherwise. Hypocrites. The sad thing is, they probably know about this trait of theirs, but delude themselves by thinking, 'Yes, I am doing the right thing. So I must be good'.

People who promote themselves constantly, whether you met them for the first or 100th time, are people I call arrogant. Yes,they may seem like they are not, but to at least a small extent, they believe they are better. They may not have the 'I am so much better than you" character when you are with them and they will not, at least not consciously, think of them being better than you. But take heed, it is at the back of their mind. You will realize that when you speak about something that you did or that said, they will probably say, "Yea i did that when i was like 12", or "No, I dont think that is like fantastic or anything", and they will go on about THEMSELVES and you would be there wondering and questioning yourself.

They feel that their actions are a notch higher than the rest, cause they are classier and more elegant, perhaps. I am not talking about people who sincerely want to correct your mistake. I am talking about those who make you feel like you are an ant in the world and whatever you have done are peanuts compared to their world changing life saving thoughts and efforts.

Through these, I understand people much better. I may take your words about your character as true when I first meet you. But as i slowly understand who you really are, I start questioning your actions and deducing your personality. You dont talk about having such philanthropic ideas to seek approval or praise, you do it because you want to, because it helps someone, not your already up-there ego.

For my 200th, I thought I would leave quotes on a subject I feel reveals a person's character

I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.
(Katherine Mansfield)

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me doesn't consult his calendar.
(Robert Brault)

I've had many friends with whom I've shared my time, but very few with whom I've shared my heart...

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit beside without a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.

Friends bring out the beautiful things in each other that no one else looks hard enough to find.

A good friend sees the first tear, catches the second and stops the third.

To my best friends Sherina, Gwen and Elaine: Love you guys

So I can see more of you now. What's next?

Its been a whirlwind weekend.

Confessions, confrontations, thieves, bitches and bastards.

Really, somehow, I was sucked into everything.Unexpected.

I almost forgave her, but then, her last words to me woke me. "I believe you two have some redeeming qualities"

Many times I question my character. Am I really as good as I think I am? But what I do know is this. I treated her as well as I could. I was ready to lend her my shoulder even though she was mean. I was ready to forgive. Reality has its own way of emerging through the lies. A slippery slope I almost fell.

So this time, I'm certain. The choice is clear. My shoulder is still here, but a sincere apology should be given and meant, not just said.


Then again, with this whole fiasco, I gained a friend I know is true and trustworthy.

The company is fresh and free.
Joyful and comforting
Relaxing yet filled with anticipation of 'what's next?'

2 days and she is one of us. Cause we know what friendship is.
A couple of weeks, a friendship for life is born

I look forward to the days henceforth.
Even with all the drama, I can say, "It was fated, and its worth it".