Miss Ye Oj

heyy people.... HOMECOMING RAWKED!!!
haha.. firstly.. huiping, anqi, christabelle, Josie, Kaihong, Peiling and me totally went crazy....
we played at the jousting area which totally wasn't jousting..
it was just a series of pulling out each other's socks..
they all gang up against me lahhx.. wah liao...
NG PEILING!!!! U WENT TO HANDICAP ME!! huh!!!
so after that..
we all practically used up all our energy..
but we had fun.. it was really worth it... haha...
didnt get to hang out much with my dance mates....
but going crazy with m galfrens sure wasn't a bad idea...
after homecoming.. i went to have dinner at 5pm!!!
haha.. i was super duper full after dat..
ohya.. i went with Sherina, Gwen and company...
haha.. it was totally hilarious..
i tried to shoot ice at sherina thru the straw...
and Aik Long tried to shield her from the ice..
haha.. but he moved after thinking that i wun shoot after all
but what do you know"?? I DID!! HA!!
omg... im a total psycho!!
well.. so i came home, and watched TV!!!
fine.. im overly- enthusiastic...
it was that time when my hand muscles ached alot...
i went to get the ice pack which i heated up and it became microwaved pack
it helped a lil, but not much
do you people wanna know how i got these awfully horrible muscle aches??
I had NAPFA 5 items ytd
and for the pull up, the A grade was 17..
but i tot it was 16.. so i did 16
and i was so bu gan yuan that i retried...
so in all i did like 33 pull-ups
and thus my muscle aches.. but i got an A for my shuttle run!!!
that certainly lifted my spirits!! haha!!


the more i think, the more i know im just not cut out for it.. yet i know that such things dont come without purpose.. but i guess i just killed all my chances... im sorry i cant hellp it.. i have done it for about 2 years.. i cant just stop.. i know i shouldn't bt i feel i should have gotten it.. why shouldn't i have?? im so fucked up by this issue, suppressing it down for so long... i tot as long as i put in my best, i will be able to achieve wat my goals were.. but guess wad?? i didn't.. in fact, i feel im getting more and more bad by the minute. i feel that what i had is drifting away.. fast.. i feel all so alone in dance.. nobody to turn to, nobody to talk to.. bt yet i tried to fit in.. i really tried.. i dont noe how long i can last.. maybe last through.. or perhaps i'll breakdown and just give up.. cox i dunno how long i can kp this image up.. the image of the gal who has a heck-care attitude to any negative comments given.. i laugh when im criticised, but i feel as if my whole world comes crashing down again and again.. i feel so unrecognised.. such a loser... i gave it my all.. but yet i feel as if the views towards me are no different.. im lazy.. too lazy to care... tell you wad.. i care.. i care so much that im tearing into pieces everytime i dance.. to feel like a nobody, with nobody.. i feel so ps-ed.. i feel as if u dont care anymore.. like how you always go with others when all i wanted was your endless chattering or just your company... i dun even think u noe im thinking like this.. i dun even think anyone noes how i really feel.. i dont even think u noe im talking about you.. i dont even think anyone noticed.. everytime my name is colled.. i leap for joy.. like how my world is suddenly vright again... but then.. u tear it right open again... Dance makes me alive, yet... it makes me ache so much... dun worry... i wun break down.. i wun be an emo-kid.. i will still be like myself.. cox after all... i can cover up any of my emotions... up till now,, no one has been able to see thru me. how i really feel.. the mask over the tears... when it is put on.. or when i am really laughing... somestimes.. i feel as if no one cares, cming to me oni for happy jokes... such a loser.. no one to cry to. i am always the strong one... but who is there to be my strong one?? Please dont talk about it