im really feeling da insignificance....

hihi peeps.....
i noe it is FREAKISHLY unusual that i am blogging two days in a row
im gonna post up my to-do list
so as to make sure i complete it.. haha

1. history
2. chem tys 1 paper
3. emaths exercise 7 pass with distinction

hmm... is that enough??
taking in the fact that i have chem tuition at 7pm...
i guess its ok.. right???
i guess i oso better do my ss and history hw
but beiong the fantastic goof i am
i left my file in school..
so i gues to make up
im gonna do one more paper of maths.. haha

4. amaths paper 1 victoria school

..hmmm. maybe i will do paper 2 if i have the time..
maybe...
i am confusing hitler and stalin up
omg.. this is NOT happening!!!
ciao ppl!! long day ahead!!!

im realli realli tired though its only 9.54..
GAWD
finished one maths paper today
and 4 chapters of history
means i have three more chapters to go
and they are all kinda big
okok, which history chapter isn't?
i need to go faster lahhx..
my speed is WAY toooooo slow..
here's wad i've completed

its easier.... haha

1. history TOV, LON, HITLER, STALIN
2. papers papers and more papers of maths
3.lit TKAM(just like a read thru..wad else is there??)
4. chemistry Chapters 1 to 13
5. physics Chapters 1 to 5
6. social studies( now left with revising the notes)

so this means.. i have less than A MONTH to create a miracle!

things i GOTTA finish this week

1. history
2. chemistry
3. lit MND
4. physics Chapters 6 to 12
5. social studies Goverance, Iraq & Kuwait

hmmm... i tink i gotta do more of physics tys..
i guess i just procrastinate too much
thus i am now in this frantic state
haix.... lucky i not retaking chinese
anyway.. im gonna read Midsummers night's dream before sleeping
how coincidental is that!
ciao people..

nothing's been happening...
and i am NOT looking forward to school..
except hearing elaine say that paris is in london and stuff
i swear, she is the most geog-idiot
like england is in london
cox london sounds bigger -.-'''
bt its okay.. she is elaine..
ohya, huiping, boobs and i came up with a new word
all preofessors listen up!!!
its ELAINE!!
u use it this way, " you damn elaine lehhx!!!"
haha.. da girl has submitted to her fate.. damn funni
oh.. and i tried to sae to her face
"wah.elaine... damn pretty..." in that serious voice..not shocked..
and i failed horribly...
i looked at her and started laughing
we cannot look at each other for an expressed purpose and not burst out laughing
ITS IMPOSSIBLE
but i did manage..
after 15 minutes and me and her were crying
from laughing at each other laughing..
yahh.. thats how school is.. cracked up..
anyway.. she was supposed to say it back to me
see who laughs first..
but the game ended before it even started
elaine did not manage to say it back
-.-'''...
just a brief update...
NAFA last friday was kinda disastrous
zls was like lashing at almost everyone.....
grrrr..
felt really bad
like im gonna fail the exam or sumtin...
ohya, bfore that was champions day..
the service award trophies were PLASTIC!!
not fair!!
its throwable...
anyway.. gotta go... sherina colling!!! ciao!!

its the last second day of holidays and i had to wake up at 7!!!
angry!!!!
and tomorrow its gotta be earlier!!
even more angry!!!!
today was just NAFA rehearsal with all performances combined together....
so we went thru the whole thing twice and the finale a couple of times.
but didnt get to practise much
oh.. i forgot that there was no fiddle bus from my house to amk mrt and i was almost late
in the end left house at 8am
when had to report fully changed at 9am
was freaking out a lil
but decided to do what i did that time
take bus to amk mrt
mrt to novena
then taxi to NAFA Campus
ohya, today we had to take da tou zhao for the performance
and we had to pay three bucks for it
if i didnt need to
limin and i wud have had enough money for a fulfilling lunch
VERY VERY ANGRY!!!!
grrrr
omg, my this post is damn scattered
but im just typing whatever comes to my mind.. haha
damn, i'll better get back to studying
no time at all..
i even slept during NAFA with Sophia lying on my butt
no surprise...
CIAO!!!!

hihi!!!! its been a rather fast week.. with no time to study and stuff... yesterday went to concert with xmcd.... the dance i liked best was the mongolian one and the one with da leaf.. oh.. da peacock one was fantastic too... bt i gotta say that their opening dance was.. very disappointing... i expected it to be a notch higher dan the 13 grade one, but it was..........

anyway, its great to be with all my juniors again... although it wasn't exactly the whole dance troupe, but it was great.... I LIKE DA BAO ZHA TOU FA one!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha... so sad, last item he at the back... not fair...

anyway, had loads of fun with the usual crowd and though i missed my maths tuition, i wun sae it was not worth it.. ebird was really good!!! GOOD JOB!!

on the way back to school, passed by ruimin's house and me and limin just stared... my dear girl, i miss u!! please blog on your school soon!!!

there's nafa again today.. zls just doesnt want to let us off the hook.... she pushed back the timing for us... sian.. and it now clashes with my maths makeup tuition... ahh!!! nafa ends at 7.30 while my tuition starts at 7.30, which is at yishun.. how the heck can i make there in time without being 45mins late or sumtin... haix... i dunno wad to do.. and my mum cant fetch me cox my parents are at genting.. and i only knew last night.. AHH!!!! im gonna pull all my hair out soon..realli realli soon.. i better start preparing for nafa if not i will be scolded by zls.. gotta go!!!!ciao!!

just read limin's blog.. and i must agree with what she said.... the competition is unhealthy... it is making dance itself a competition.. the dance is supposed to bring out the best in each of you.. not the very competitive spirit.. that kinda competition spirit is to be left for when we are performing on the stage.. a dance troupe is as good as its weakest member.. its not about who is lead or who is chosen for whatever role.. its about how we can work towards a common goal and achieve it... if everyone is overcrowded with their own egoistic thinking.. then what is dance for... if everyone thinks they are number one.. what is the point?? its good to be confident.. its good to show zls what you are capable of.. but while your at it, dun forget that you are still part of XMCD... all of you have to be of a certain calibre to even be in it...

lets just say that if i were to be caught up in my own world and not think about the big picture, then i wud have crushed and burned while wallowing in self-pity.. sometimes its not that you are not good enough, sumtimes its just that ur feeling is not what is wanted... we just needa take a step back and step out of a world that evolves around ourselves...

i learnt this the hard way and i hope you guys can recognise how ur attitude can jeopardise ur chances... what a dance need is your passion, not your competitive spirit.. yes.. zls is stricter than before, she is more bad tempered.. but have your ever thought that while zls didnt scold us for being late, mrs lim was there?? while our seniors didnt get gold with honours, we did?

i realise that it is very prestigious and very glamorous to be the lead, to be in the limelight... who wont be happy to be the lead??? bt please.. dun pit yourselves against each other for the sake of a role... when ur on stage, no one can recognise you, your frens maybe, bt in competitions, the judge judges everyone.. it doesnt matter where you are standing, with one person missing, the dance will never be complete.. you may think ur insignificant, but know that every position has to be accounted for.. imagine if there were only 6 people in a dance as compared to 30 people in a dance with different formations and different stuff to showcase.. which is more impressive?? a dance troupe with beginners who blossom into beautiful and elegant dancers or 6 fantastic dancers who only have those few amazing techniques.. what im putting across is it doesnt matter what you are, whether fat skinny short tall, it all boils down to how much dance means to you and how much you are willing to give.. everyone matters, its just how able you are to express urself in terms of dance moves..a dancer filled with ambitions to only win can never surpass a dancer that dances for the grace and beauty of the sport.

if you guys are ever depressed over what zls commented on you, think of me and u will noe that ur not the only one.. you cant control what she says, but you can control how u think of each comment.. and how you put it to use.. Would you continuously put urself down by complaining about zls' biasedness, or will you prove to yourself that you are more worthy than that, that it doesnt matter what you are? Let me tell you guys something... zls has always said that im fat.... that because im fat i cant be put at any position that comes near to the centre.. so, im most of the time the second choice... or the third... yes, i have lost many many chances to be the lead.. and i hated myself for it. but by doing so, i dun see myself getting any better, i dun see zls putting me in any better role... so i chose to be the one at the back.. if i cant be what i wanted, why not help others in what they want, especially when they have what it takes... i wun sae that im not upset whenever zls doesn't choose me for certain stuff.. no.. IM FREAKING DEPRESSED.. but think about it.. if u see a big blob of object standing in the middle of a dance with many skinny people beside her.. what do u think?? i think that it is a spoiler... and I LAUGH...

no matter how good you are, its always the big picture!!! its never about you, its about the dance... its never about"heyy, im better suited for that particular dance than her, why am i not chosen".. zls is biased, that i can safely assure you.. but zls never fails to see who is better and she knows her stuff better than anyone.. dun be so quick in judging if u are better.. if she knows you can.. then she will take you into consideration... remember that its also not really about how good you are but also the stamina needed for the dance..

to sec 1 dancers.. i've heard most of you are in dance for the cca points.. that is SO SO SO not what dance is all about.. i want you all to know that just being in dance will NEVER guarantee you a safe 2 points off ur Olevels.. it doesn't work that way..if that were it, the school should just give 6 points to every student... life is not about studying, its about enjoying the lil' bits of fun that it presents us with.. like life, dance is never a bed of roses... its full of thorns but its up to you to find the beauty of a rose... only when you find the beauty of dance, the enjoyment and happiness it brings, thats when you can say you are dancing.. the 2 points is a bonus to the fun and friends you get to experience and have during dance...

to nicole, i noe that u noe u are good in dance.. but please please dun let it cloud the way you dance... just dance out of ur love for the sport.. its enough.. dancing trying to combat the competition and dancing with your heart are two different things, two different type of dances.... as i've said, you noe you are good and that is enough... just believe in your own abilities and never never be put down by what zls says.. also, IF zls doesn't choose you, which is highly unlikely not to mention unthinkable, NOTE that the positions are NEVER fixed.. its just up to you to make the most of it....

so i just want you guys to know that no matter what, dance will never be complete with one of you missing, also, dance is also about the attitude not how good u are... you can be Beijing's next top dancer, bt if ur missing dance every other day, what's the point... and if any of you are thinking of backing out of SYF because of the competitive feeling in dance, then you have some brushing up to do with the way you view dance... i want you guys to know that every troupe has its own problems and it is up to us to solve it... ohya, please don't start clapping at every small thing that zls asks someone to do.. i mean when it is obvious it is a good job, yes u clap.. bt not clap even when there is nothing to clap...

i guess that's about it.. not too bad for a has-been blogger ehhx???

teacher's day celenbraton on friday.. im kinda not in da mood to narrate all the events that happened.. so im just gonna post pictures..

class photos!!

the card for ZLS...

the sight that greeted when i entered my room!!

my dad insisted on a foto with me..



oh....if you guys are thinking about the thing im wearing...
it was from Sherina and Gwen..
well.. but that was kind of their fake present
in the morning
they actually gave that big foto frame thingy and a necklace to my dad
and it sure surprised me
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!
oh.. that dinosaur cloth is so CUTE!!

Special thanks to 406,
especially ELAINE FRANNY(i dun care,im still gonna coll you franny) and HUIPING!
you guys made me walk backwards out of class..
i expected sumting
but not a birthday cake that looked very much like mango pudding
i ate about 5 cakes for my birthday
but i liked it!!
and also to my beloved ruimin and limim and ebird for last friday's bdae celebration b4 NAFA
thanks ebird for making that special trip down
just to celebrate with me
and also to Mingting, Zien, Audrey and Alanna for celebrating my bdae on thursday...
and and sorry for cancelling out on you guys which i didnt noe we were gonna be celebrating my bdae..
so sorry!!
and thanks to everyone who wished me a happy bdae!!!
YOUR LOVED!!!

hi people...
Ruimin left ytd....
This is the first day without ruimin,
and i felt it at NAFA today..
its kinda wierd but..
i guess i jst couldn't stop thinking about ruimin
i coulnt stop talking about her either..
im happy i can blog today..
that was friggin random
at T3, it was kinda mixed feeling
i felt like..... shit
i really wanted to give ruimin a hug,
bt she was already gonna cry
i refrained, cox i could feel mine coming on too
i cant believe i didnt get to hug her!!
OMG!!! im so toot!!
REGRETS!!should have just hugged her
my dear girl, the 333 ice-cream sticks are for luck..
the other days.. ur supposed to come back
well. these 333 sticks are totally different phrases of
your character
some of my random feelings
words of encouragement
and well.. miscellaneous
i miss you so much!!!
im starting to feel the emptiness
starting to feel your absence
3 months is gonna be long
but.. let this test of friendship be taken to our advantage
we'll survive it..
Her last day at NAFA...


Us at T3 with her


Our last view of her inside...


A new Journey