I've been so unmotivated lately.

Been at home, lazing the day away, occasionally flipping through my excuse of studying.

What i've realized these days, is that for me to attain something, I must sacrifice another.

I guess what I gave up this time was wasted, since I didn't manage to attain my goal at the end of the day.

Scattered thoughts.

XOXOX

While I feel somewhat sad, I know i'm just over thinking. So I'm not going to say anything else, and let the story unfold. I treasure you too much to let you slide.

I think people should start practicing what they preach, and not just cause it makes them seem virtuous.

Character of a person

People who are good dont keep telling and proclaiming they are good. Sure, actions will tell, but I think if you do something with the purpose, however small, of wanting to know how 'good' or 'charitable' you are, then the purpose is defeated.

For me, at least, it is much more meaningful to do something good and not announce it to the world. Announcing it to the world basically means you want attention and praise for your good deed.

Ever so often, I will come across people like this. People who kepp telling others that they are kind and warm and all lovely on the inside. I trust them, of course, and yes, it shows. But I will then question their motive. Sure, it could mainly be for the reason that they feel it is the good thing to do, but is it to make themselves feel good on the inside or is it really a selfless act?

I dont like people who say one thing and do the other. People who say they are observant and sensitive but whose actions show otherwise. Hypocrites. The sad thing is, they probably know about this trait of theirs, but delude themselves by thinking, 'Yes, I am doing the right thing. So I must be good'.

People who promote themselves constantly, whether you met them for the first or 100th time, are people I call arrogant. Yes,they may seem like they are not, but to at least a small extent, they believe they are better. They may not have the 'I am so much better than you" character when you are with them and they will not, at least not consciously, think of them being better than you. But take heed, it is at the back of their mind. You will realize that when you speak about something that you did or that said, they will probably say, "Yea i did that when i was like 12", or "No, I dont think that is like fantastic or anything", and they will go on about THEMSELVES and you would be there wondering and questioning yourself.

They feel that their actions are a notch higher than the rest, cause they are classier and more elegant, perhaps. I am not talking about people who sincerely want to correct your mistake. I am talking about those who make you feel like you are an ant in the world and whatever you have done are peanuts compared to their world changing life saving thoughts and efforts.

Through these, I understand people much better. I may take your words about your character as true when I first meet you. But as i slowly understand who you really are, I start questioning your actions and deducing your personality. You dont talk about having such philanthropic ideas to seek approval or praise, you do it because you want to, because it helps someone, not your already up-there ego.

For my 200th, I thought I would leave quotes on a subject I feel reveals a person's character

I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.
(Katherine Mansfield)

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me doesn't consult his calendar.
(Robert Brault)

I've had many friends with whom I've shared my time, but very few with whom I've shared my heart...

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit beside without a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.

Friends bring out the beautiful things in each other that no one else looks hard enough to find.

A good friend sees the first tear, catches the second and stops the third.

To my best friends Sherina, Gwen and Elaine: Love you guys

So I can see more of you now. What's next?

Its been a whirlwind weekend.

Confessions, confrontations, thieves, bitches and bastards.

Really, somehow, I was sucked into everything.Unexpected.

I almost forgave her, but then, her last words to me woke me. "I believe you two have some redeeming qualities"

Many times I question my character. Am I really as good as I think I am? But what I do know is this. I treated her as well as I could. I was ready to lend her my shoulder even though she was mean. I was ready to forgive. Reality has its own way of emerging through the lies. A slippery slope I almost fell.

So this time, I'm certain. The choice is clear. My shoulder is still here, but a sincere apology should be given and meant, not just said.


Then again, with this whole fiasco, I gained a friend I know is true and trustworthy.

The company is fresh and free.
Joyful and comforting
Relaxing yet filled with anticipation of 'what's next?'

2 days and she is one of us. Cause we know what friendship is.
A couple of weeks, a friendship for life is born

I look forward to the days henceforth.
Even with all the drama, I can say, "It was fated, and its worth it".

Top 5 things I hate about School

1. Waking up

2. Walking to the FSC.

It is so hot now and tin alley (a street I have to walk through) has this area whereby it just stinks like hell. I always feel like im at a farm, cleaning cow manure or something.

3. Classes are 1.5hrs long

It may not seem much but RJ classes were like 50mins!

4. Recently, I found out my EAP presentation time limit was 12, not 15mins

I honestly thought the limit was 12 to 15min... So my time was 13min___. :( Crap

5. Exams

Ditto!

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I just learnt the dance to this! yay!

If only I had the same determination to study

Oh, how good would that be...

Here is the one dance version!

Signing off!!

XOXO

Hello again!

Yes, as usual, me blogging means Exams are coming.

As I was working on my EAP presentation last night, my sister was talking about studying business in Commerce.

She said that I will study everything, and I was kinda worried about that. Studying everything means I dont know everything about anything. Kind of like, Jack of all trades master of none?

Well, but I am considering business I guess.

Anyway, I am pretty busy with school. There are assignments due, research to be done and revision sheets to be completed. No, unlike previously, I did not exactly leave these revisions to the last minute. The work just kind of piled up consistently, almost grudgingly.

Since I am bored now (no. School does not exist.), I shall make a list. I think I shall make a list everyday. This is not a completed list.

5 moments of 2011

in no particular order

1. Returning home in September

I know I know! It was such a short holiday! I was not able to meet many people, and because I was so tired, I actually cancelled on some. (EEKS!)

But I am really glad I went home! Not just because I do not have to cook or do the dishes. Well, partly. But more importantly, cause I have built 18 years worth of friendships and I dont want to lose them!

I missed my family too and going home gave me this warm fuzzy feeling. oh. And reuniting with my tiggers.

That's a list topper

2. Purchasing a swimming goggle

HA! I know what you are thinking! WTF is probably going through your mind right now.

But yes, I bought goggles when I was in Mornington. Cause the pool was so bad.

It was salty, chlorine bombed and small.

And it blurred my vision.

So my friends and I had to buy goggles, cause we were not afraid of death and blindness.

We were just interested in swimming.

Well, at least it is a worthwhile investment

3. Going to Trinity

Your mind: WTFUHHH???

I know this is like... stupid but yes. I am really glad I came to Trinity. I met new friends, all from different places. We quarreled, we had fun and we partied. Also, I think Trinity helped my self esteem... in the education way. I never thought I was smart or intellectual. But Trinity kind of gave me that extra push. So I am really glad I came here. Besides, Trinity marks a new start for me. Considering how I screwed my Alevels up, this is not so bad.

4. Christmas and New Year Party.

Party Animal - WORD

5. Meeting my new friends, of course!

There is the ever interesting and weird Jachow

There is the very caring Calbelle

There is the sexy geek Alicia

There is my siaozabor Jane

There is my party babies Alvina, Stacey, Vanessa, Robby, Alditha

But what I am most grateful for is my sister. :)

I love that I know her friends and she knows mine

So parties are much more fun... I mean, we have a greater network of friends.

I gotta go! Accounting assignment!

XOXO

Happy New Year!

So, I had a party yesterday and my friends were asking each other for their New Year's Resolution.

So, Im gonna make a list of things that I feel I should or could accomplish and a few goals here and there.

1. Graduate from Trinity with a good score (oh please)

This isn't really a choice. If I dont, then i should just jump off a building. I am still deciding between commerce and arts. So, I want to get a score that is above 86%, so that I am able to choose the faculty that I want to go to. I am quite torn between the two faculties. Commerce will give me a stable certificate, while arts will lead me to psychology and criminology. I know that combination will lead me nowhere, so I am hoping to use psychology to get into human resource. Well, I guess my end point would still be working for my dad, but I do want to do something that I am happy with, so studying will not be such a chore.

2. More Road trips please! Cairns, Sydney etc!

My friends and I drove to Mornington from the 27th to 30th Dec 2011. It is just a 2 hour journey from where I am. Well, yea, it is not much of a holiday if you think about it, but given the Trinity holiday schedule, I guess we made the most of it. The only thing is I really have to start studying now.

But I do like road trips! So I am looking forward to travelling around Australia during my school holidays. Like, why not?? I am studying in Australia, so domestic flights, or even driving, will be so much cheaper! :D

3. Swimming.

I bought goggles while I was at Mornington. I should utilise it.

4. Spend more time (skype) with my family

I haven't really spent much time skyping to my family, and I feel I really should. I know my parents miss me quite abit, and i do too. But its just the time difference is so different. Usually, I will be too tired and sleep is usually more tempting.

5. Disneyland and Universal Studio!

There is a Universal Studio Singapore! But alas, I am now studying in Melbourne. :(

I love going to Disneyland, Universal Studios and all kinds of theme parks! I love theme parks!

I dont really know why I like it so much.

But I just love the feeling of entering a theme park and all there is to do is run around and have fun! I just love theme parks!!

7. My driving licence

I CANNOT BELIEVE I FAILED MY FIRST ONE. I didnt stop at the stop line. Yupp.

That's why I failed. :(

Long story, but I really wanna get my licence by this year.

It will be retarded if I have to take my final theory test again.

8. Save money

haha. I know what you are thinking. Is that even possible? Well yes.

I have been spending so much here, it is impossible.

I plan to save at least $150 each month

It is impossible for January since there are bills to pay etc.

I will start saving in February and I will make sure I dont have to keep worrying about money

I want to use my own money and buy myself a ton of stuff

Camera

Clothes

Purses

Basically anything and everything

9. Gym membership next year

10. More vegetable. I need to eat more vegetables

11. Cook at home more often

12. Dance classes!

Samba! Salsa! Argentine Tango!

13. Pictures! More pictures!

14. Language classes

I am still thinking about the different languages, but I will take a class in university!

15. I need to do the laundry every week

I know this sounds stupid, but seriously, my sister and I do the laundry once a month, or something like that. And the load that we have to do is like.. wow.

So this year, I will stay clean by doing the laundry every week.

It is summer now, so I cant be donning the same clothes over and over again

hoping I dont smell funny

So yupp, currently, these are my new year's resolution for 2012!

More will definitely be added to this list

But I will keep this list doable, so I will actually act on it

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYONE!